1
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,720
It's been ten years since my last
confession.

2
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:30,340
That means it's been ten years since
I've been paid to fuck.

3
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,280
Luckily for you, I'm single now, and I
need a job.

4
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,800
Which means more confessions for you.

5
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,380
Let's start with rule number one.

6
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,300
Every door requires a different fancy.

7
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,980
So until you know what that is, be a
blank canvas.

8
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:53,480
Can I help you?

9
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,520
Actually, I'm here to help you.

10
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:56,880
Um,

11
00:00:58,020 --> 00:01:00,880
I was just expecting someone a little
more.

12
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,320
Like a cop?

13
00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:04,400
Yeah. We don't do that anymore.

14
00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:06,580
What's your name?

15
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,260
Since confessions are supposed to be
anonymous.

16
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:10,760
Call me X.

17
00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:13,480
Come on in.

18
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:28,090
This bachelor party, sorry, bachelor's
party, is a regular fairy tale.

19
00:01:28,970 --> 00:01:31,490
Lots of fairy, lots of tale.

20
00:01:32,110 --> 00:01:33,550
I don't like group scenes.

21
00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:37,790
Especially when the other boys for hire
look like they should have paper routes

22
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:38,790
instead of drawings.

23
00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:42,190
Oh, who said romance was dead?

24
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,390
You're cute.

25
00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:50,650
I'll give you a dick, Cam.

26
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,120
You too.

27
00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:54,460
But I'd still charge you full price.

28
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,140
Hey, how's it going?

29
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,200
Not great.

30
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,200
But the night is still young, so plenty
of time for it to get worse.

31
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:09,440
The bachelor party we threw my brother
had ladies shooting wiffle ball, you

32
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,440
know, out.

33
00:02:11,780 --> 00:02:13,120
This is more up my alley.

34
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,840
Am I more up your alley?

35
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:17,100
You? Sure.

36
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,360
I love Daddy.

37
00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:19,900
Oh, Daddy.

38
00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:21,510
My new favorite word.

39
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:26,490
And from a guy who's old enough to be
my... Okay, my brother. You want to go

40
00:02:26,490 --> 00:02:28,830
houses on a stripper? I hear they're all
bad words.

41
00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:30,990
You heard right.

42
00:02:32,350 --> 00:02:33,610
Buenas noches, caballero.

43
00:02:34,890 --> 00:02:36,490
Let's get this bachelor party started.

44
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:47,250
I had this date that could not be
finished. And well, Rudy calls.

45
00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:49,470
You look pissy.

46
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,200
And unattractive.

47
00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:52,900
Walk with me.

48
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,520
Rule number two. Don't be late.

49
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,120
Time is money.

50
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,880
This kid makes me feel like the oldest
person in the oldest profession.

51
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,580
But maybe I can teach him a thing or
two. Like rule number three.

52
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:12,840
Keep your work life and your home life
completely, utterly, absolutely

53
00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,740
You're very early. Shit, sorry, I
forgot.

54
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,520
Can you unforget and leave?

55
00:03:34,860 --> 00:03:36,040
Can I just go to my room?

56
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:40,020
I'm sorry, this is really awkward.

57
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,680
I think I should go. Yeah, if you
wouldn't mind.

58
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:43,940
No, you really shouldn't.

59
00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:45,860
Oh, I get it.

60
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,720
Can't go until you come.

61
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,680
I'll be back when I'm supposed to.

62
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,000
Midnight.

63
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:03,910
After seven years together, Andrew and I
didn't get the itch, but we stopped

64
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,090
scratching each other.

65
00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:06,630
Gotta change that.

66
00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:10,770
After ten years, we just gave up.

67
00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:12,450
Well, I did.

68
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:15,710
I called it off because I knew he wasn't
happy.

69
00:04:16,149 --> 00:04:17,550
And it's not like I was.

70
00:04:18,230 --> 00:04:21,750
But I don't think happy is a word that
will ever describe me.

71
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:25,130
So, I came back to the only job I know.

72
00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:28,290
I thought I'd be received like a Disney
movie.

73
00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:31,790
That's been in the vault for years and
is finally available to stream.

74
00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:35,950
But I'm just another guy willing to have
sex for money in L .A.

75
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:39,330
The capital of guys willing to have sex
for money.

76
00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:47,330
You cannot come to someone's bachelor
party to go -go looking like someone's

77
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,189
cool mom.

78
00:04:48,190 --> 00:04:49,310
I can do this myself.

79
00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:52,150
I've been undressing since you were
still in the present.

80
00:04:52,450 --> 00:04:56,090
I met Chase at a very kinky cattle call
at a house in the hills.

81
00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:58,330
It was my first job in L .A.

82
00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:02,830
The geezer on the Martha Stewart
bedspread pays five dudes to try on and

83
00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:03,669
off clothes.

84
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:09,250
He dismisses us one by one until he's
down to the last dude who gets to stay

85
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:12,830
be licked all over while he masturbates
for a ton of cash.

86
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,390
It's American Idol with dicks.

87
00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:19,910
I made it to the final round, but Chase
beat me out.

88
00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:26,390
I'm not a lap dance kind of guy. I'm a
hustler. I don't do the hustle.

89
00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:27,790
I don't.

90
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,460
You know about that? It's a dance.

91
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:34,300
I'm hearing I'm not a good dancer. I
just don't like wasting my time. We're

92
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:37,800
going to end up spending our entire
night giving lap dances to a bunch of

93
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:41,440
drunks. We'll give us a dollar here and
a dollar here nowhere.

94
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,660
You have to break out of this old school
hooker mode and get with the time. If

95
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:48,180
you do some dry humping now, you'll end
up doing some wet humping later.

96
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:49,900
Not just for dollar bills.

97
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,300
These guys are drunk, horny, and rich.

98
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:56,600
Okay, maybe I'm not teaching Chase
anything at all.

99
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,100
Maybe he's teaching me.

100
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,220
Maybe I'm not even good at this anymore.

101
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,060
Good night.

102
00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:22,000
Tell me

103
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,820
you didn't come home early on purpose.

104
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:29,440
Stalker. No, my timing's just off. My
timing's fine. Your timing is off.

105
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:33,560
This is not going to work if you don't
respect the boundaries.

106
00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:37,220
Boundaries is just a pleasant word for
saying hang -ups.

107
00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:40,160
You are such a selfish prick.

108
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,860
Most pricks are pretty selfish.

109
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:47,400
You act like it was a mutual decision to
split up, but it was your call.

110
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,940
At least give me enough space to be over
you.

111
00:06:56,810 --> 00:06:58,210
I haven't mellowed with age.

112
00:06:59,030 --> 00:07:02,270
I've just aged with age.

113
00:07:08,310 --> 00:07:09,310
Songs.

114
00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:11,010
It's 40 bucks.

115
00:07:11,270 --> 00:07:13,350
You told me to tell you when it was two
songs.

116
00:07:13,870 --> 00:07:15,390
Yes, yes, Daddy, two.

117
00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:20,450
That should cost you an extra 20 bucks.

118
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,030
But I'll let it slide this time.

119
00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:34,310
It didn't feel sanitary eating cake
while gay married guys were getting lap

120
00:07:34,310 --> 00:07:36,950
dances all around me, but I was fucking
starving.

121
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:39,530
Chase made me skip lunch so I'd have
abs.

122
00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:44,310
He showed me how to spray tan fake ones
on, so why did I need real ones?

123
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,330
You checking out my ass?

124
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:54,970
No, it's literally everywhere I look.

125
00:07:55,230 --> 00:07:56,690
Yeah, I hear what you're saying.

126
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:58,610
No wonder you're making so much money.

127
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,740
You could literally lap dance a guy
standing up with that thing.

128
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,780
I'm still hearing what you're saying.

129
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:07,600
Seriously. You must be the ass guy of L
.A.

130
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,480
I'll admit, I'm famous for my ass.

131
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:17,840
I got a place to sleep, food, and not
the worst car in the world because of my

132
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:22,280
ass. And because I have all those
things, I even got a hot girlfriend, so

133
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,280
even brought me that.

134
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,100
Wow. So your gay ass brought you a
straight girlfriend?

135
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,460
Does she like it as much as guys do?

136
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,010
I'll tell you a story.

137
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:32,990
No, she doesn't.

138
00:08:34,370 --> 00:08:35,789
That is a great story.

139
00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:40,130
I asked her one time, you know, do you
like my ass? And she got all quiet.

140
00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,450
And she's like, I don't know.

141
00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:46,450
And I go, what's wrong with it? She
doesn't know that guy's paying me to do

142
00:08:46,450 --> 00:08:50,210
stuff with it. But she's all like, I
don't know if I like being with a guy

143
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:51,350
has a better ass than me.

144
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:57,010
Hey, you're needed in the bedroom.

145
00:08:57,210 --> 00:08:58,210
Say goodbye, Poppy.

146
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000
Goodbye, Poppy.

147
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:25,020
For I called you a selfish prey.

148
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:29,680
I'm sorry for being such a perfect
example of one.

149
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,200
I'm serious, X.

150
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,460
I can't handle this, this living
situation.

151
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:39,500
If you're going to ignore the schedule,
I need space.

152
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:45,220
Our house payment is lower than any
rental situation these days, so living

153
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:46,600
together makes sense financially.

154
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,620
Look, I'm sorry. I told you I forgot the
time.

155
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,400
You never forget the time. You're the
most obsessive, compulsively punctual

156
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,400
person I know.

157
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:55,760
Time is money, remember?

158
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,340
It won't happen again.

159
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,020
My night was especially hard.

160
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,780
It's like I'm living with a human pun.
You don't even do it on purpose anymore.

161
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:07,440
No, seriously. My night was really
annoying.

162
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,560
I just want to eat my cereal in peace.

163
00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:13,740
Okay.

164
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,080
But just so you know, your cereal wasn't
free.

165
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:22,920
Just because you wouldn't be caught dead
in that Gelson's doesn't mean you don't

166
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:23,920
have to chip in around here.

167
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:30,130
How much do I owe you?

168
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:34,810
I don't even want to know. You don't
want to know, but you already do.

169
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:41,469
Oh,

170
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:48,970
hey,

171
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:51,310
mister. Harder than you'd believe.

172
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:53,150
It's been an hour already.

173
00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:58,350
We can keep going if you like, but
there's two of us, so...

174
00:10:58,810 --> 00:11:01,850
Costing double on top of the appearance
fees. Ooh.

175
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:07,610
Yeah, uh, maybe I should go see my dad.

176
00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:10,550
Isn't that guy you're marrying still out
there?

177
00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:15,170
You can see Garrett, man. I saw him out
in the den. He looks pretty busy.

178
00:11:16,170 --> 00:11:19,570
Oh, um, you know what, um, X?

179
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:25,870
Why don't you, um, go out there and
entertain the party for, like, another

180
00:11:25,870 --> 00:11:26,990
hour tops?

181
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:28,530
Really?

182
00:11:32,089 --> 00:11:36,790
I mean, I'm not saying, like, he's cuter
or anything.

183
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:43,990
I mean, it's just that, like, you've
been giving me this very sex -negative

184
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:49,590
vibe, and I feel very judged, and I want
to, like, have this freedom.

185
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:55,690
So... You know what? It's totally fine.
I'll let Chase close.

186
00:11:55,970 --> 00:11:57,010
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

187
00:11:57,790 --> 00:12:00,890
So things are a little tight right now
with the wedding and the honeymoon in

188
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:03,250
Bali. The currency exchange is a lot.

189
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:04,890
It's no problem. Thanks.

190
00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:07,670
I'll pay you guys later.

191
00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:11,730
And now, mijo. Come on.

192
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:16,930
Okay. The only thing these daddies and
boys have in common are square pegs,

193
00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:19,610
round holes, and the determination to
make them fit.

194
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:21,510
It's like with me and Chase.

195
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:25,090
Just the fact that he was born with the
name Chase with a Y.

196
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:28,130
Nobody named their kid that before 2005.

197
00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:31,790
Sebastian was right.

198
00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:33,230
I am judging.

199
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:35,630
Hey, stranger.

200
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:37,250
I'm not doing any more dances.

201
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:40,610
Oh, wait, what then? No, I... It's okay.

202
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:41,830
I'm sorry.

203
00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:49,390
I don't know why. I just wanted you to
know I'm not normally the kind of guy

204
00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:50,390
gets lap dances.

205
00:12:50,790 --> 00:12:55,050
I... I'm married, and, well, all of this
is very fun. It's just not...

206
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,280
My thing.

207
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:02,340
But? If it were my thing, I would spend
a lot more 20s on you.

208
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,440
It's going to be a thing, huh?

209
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,200
Well, I've never really been into 20s.

210
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:10,380
Just daddies like me?

211
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:13,940
I didn't mean that. You're not a daddy.
You're just an adult.

212
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,760
Ah, so you're not into the kids.

213
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,820
No, they're gorgeous.

214
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,900
Not an either -or thing.

215
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:25,000
It's just if I was to pick an ideal for
myself, it would have... Some chest

216
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000
hair.

217
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,140
So, how long have you been married?

218
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:33,780
Oh, we've been quote -unquote married
for about 13 years, and then we were in

219
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:37,000
that first batch of prop -8 couples that
got real married right away.

220
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,020
If you guys were together for so long,
why do you feel the need to get real

221
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,020
married?

222
00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:44,960
It meant a lot to us.

223
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,540
We wouldn't have done it if it didn't.

224
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,420
Are you married?

225
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:53,240
I mean, to a guy or a girl? I know
some...

226
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,720
Ex -workers are really straight.

227
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,880
I'm gay, and I'm not married.

228
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:06,600
Although I was with someone for longer
than some couples are married, but it

229
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,559
didn't work out.

230
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,560
What happened?

231
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:13,440
I think our timing was just off.

232
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:19,160
Look, why don't you take my number?

233
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:23,220
Because even though you said you're not
into all this, we had a good time,

234
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,700
right? And I think we could have an even
better time if it was just one -on

235
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,700
-one.

236
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:30,800
I'm lucky for you.

237
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,440
I'm not getting any younger.

238
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,580
I won't tell you, Roswell.

239
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:42,200
Actually, I already got your information
from that other dancer.

240
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,360
Chase, I think, is his name.

241
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,740
This is the exact moment I realized I
had a pimp.

242
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,120
Chase was helping me just so he could
make money off me.

243
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,780
This kid was running my life.

244
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,940
Who's the most famous person you've ever
fought?

245
00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:08,520
Was it an actor? A politician?

246
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:10,840
Or maybe he was a priest.

247
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,840
The price is sweet in the place. Maybe
Chase finally came through.

248
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:24,370
He hired two of us?

249
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:25,770
What?

250
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:27,270
No, come inside.

251
00:15:27,730 --> 00:15:29,010
That'll cost extra.

252
00:15:36,290 --> 00:15:38,730
So, you're really not a second escort?

253
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:40,710
So you don't recognize me?

254
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:45,550
Sorry, who are you? It's the kind of
trick every hustler dreams about. And

255
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:46,550
of them lie about.

256
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:47,730
A celebrity.

257
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:52,430
Larry Shippers, your gay best friend.
And, uh, five million subs to this week.

258
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:54,430
Of course, a YouTuber.

259
00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:58,210
The biggest type of celebrity Chase
could think of. Nice to meet you.

260
00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:00,810
Call me X.

261
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:04,890
Just stealth as Chase was, I figured
you'd be a closeted actor.

262
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:08,570
I'm the opposite of closeted. I post
anything and everything about my life

263
00:16:08,570 --> 00:16:09,570
people tuning in to watch.

264
00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:14,170
We develop a relationship, sort of like
a virtual best friend or boyfriend.

265
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:17,790
Providing a boyfriend experience is
something that we share in common.

266
00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:22,630
It used to be when a celebrity called a
person like me, he was a closet case.

267
00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:24,630
This is a first for me.

268
00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:29,710
I just want to build a roster of 10 to
12 clients and leave it at that. You

269
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:31,430
don't know the first thing about
hustling, do you?

270
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,250
Excuse me?

271
00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:37,690
Look, I know you're annoyed that I'm not
finding you better stuff, but you have

272
00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:38,329
to help too.

273
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,070
You're literally nobody in this town.

274
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,570
Actually, I'm figuratively nobody in
this town.

275
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,990
Now that I think about it, it doesn't
sound that much better.

276
00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:48,250
I'm serious. You need better branding,
my friend.

277
00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:52,330
Branding? Why would I want to brand
myself when the whole point of doing

278
00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:54,570
something illegal is to keep a low
profile?

279
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,610
It's low profile, not no profile.

280
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:00,230
It's like pizza.

281
00:17:00,630 --> 00:17:01,670
You need to have a brand.

282
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:04,490
Nobody ever says, let's get pizza, I
don't care what kind.

283
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:08,849
It does wonders for your confidence when
a kid who is better at what you do than

284
00:17:08,849 --> 00:17:10,470
you are compares you to pizza.

285
00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:12,550
See? This is my OnlyFans profile.

286
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,170
200 subscribers.

287
00:17:14,690 --> 00:17:15,690
My Instagram?

288
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:19,890
30 ,000 followers. I just post underwear
pics and these random guys message me.

289
00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:22,550
One of my junior high teachers messaged
me. Look!

290
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:25,170
Andy Cohen wanted to know.

291
00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:26,490
What's up?

292
00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:28,569
So you advertise your toppings?

293
00:17:28,930 --> 00:17:31,010
No. I'm creating a persona.

294
00:17:31,610 --> 00:17:33,550
If guys know who you are, they want to
slice.

295
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:39,110
Guys are willing to pay more for a
slightly less hot guy if they have a

296
00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,110
built up around you.

297
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:41,170
What social media do you do?

298
00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,030
Facebook.

299
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,910
Nothing. I do anti -social media.

300
00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:48,370
Then we've got to get you on Rent Me.

301
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,570
We say you're 26.

302
00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:55,610
No face -taking until you can some more.
We hype you up at Seattle's most in

303
00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:59,210
-demand top, new to L .A., and we ask
for premium rates.

304
00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:03,390
The more stupid expensive you are, the
more the serious clients want you.

305
00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:06,870
I'd always avoided public stuff like
Rent Me.

306
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,460
I'm not a fame whore, just a whore
whore.

307
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,860
Those underwear are very specific.

308
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,900
Yeah, they're free.

309
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:29,300
I don't even post underwear pics, but
they keep sending them, so don't worry,

310
00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:30,279
they come off.

311
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,120
Either way, I can work around them.

312
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:36,060
The hotel's free too, as long as I make
a post about that.

313
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,330
Sounds like you get a lot of things for
free.

314
00:18:39,630 --> 00:18:41,630
You do realize that I'm not?

315
00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:46,130
Don't worry, I could definitely afford
to pay you. From all the YouTube ads?

316
00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:48,310
Listen, it's cool you don't understand
what I do.

317
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:54,590
I mean, you're not exactly my target
demo. Most of my followers are teenage

318
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:55,590
girls and gay boys.

319
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:57,970
And a few creepers.

320
00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:02,590
A few million creepers. So you could
have anybody.

321
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,250
Why me?

322
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:05,450
Why not Chase?

323
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:10,160
Chase didn't tell you? I'm into older
guys.

324
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:11,960
Older?

325
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:18,220
You're young for me. I usually like guys
that are older than 45.

326
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:20,340
He told you I was 45?

327
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,080
He probably thinks I was at Stonewall.

328
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:28,300
So all this secrecy is because you don't
want everybody out there in the world

329
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:34,180
to know that you're into creepers? I
think that's what you called us.

330
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:35,380
It's just...

331
00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:37,850
Everything's so public these days.

332
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:43,070
Everything I do gets posted to delisted
or vicious gossip. When I'm shirtless,

333
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:47,570
it's everywhere with thousands of
comments about every square inch of my

334
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:56,650
I just want something to be private for
a change.

335
00:19:57,490 --> 00:20:01,530
My parents are just now coming around to
me being gay, and that was a long road.

336
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,670
I just think them seeing me with
someone...

337
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,140
Literally my dad's age.

338
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,200
I don't know. I just need a beat before
we get there.

339
00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:20,540
So you are a closeted actor after all.

340
00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:24,460
I mean, aren't all of us?

341
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:26,660
About something?

342
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:38,130
Oh.

343
00:20:39,290 --> 00:20:40,290
Hi.

344
00:20:41,630 --> 00:20:43,290
Sorry, am I interrupting?

345
00:20:43,770 --> 00:20:45,450
No. Hi.

346
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,490
He's just a friend and he's just
leaving.

347
00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:50,150
Okay.

348
00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:51,670
I'm Andrew.

349
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:52,790
I'm Chase.

350
00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:54,310
With a Y.

351
00:20:54,810 --> 00:20:58,030
As in, why don't you join us?

352
00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:01,970
Is he for real?

353
00:21:03,890 --> 00:21:04,890
Pizza box.

354
00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:06,190
Twink with his legs spread.

355
00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:07,410
Are you shooting porn?

356
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:08,810
We are not shooting porn.

357
00:21:09,090 --> 00:21:10,690
Although, we should talk about the sex.

358
00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:12,610
Again, branding.

359
00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:14,450
And I'm not a twink.

360
00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:15,990
I'm just young.

361
00:21:16,670 --> 00:21:17,810
Who is this person?

362
00:21:19,550 --> 00:21:20,550
I'm his pimp.

363
00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:25,070
Let me know if you want to work. I could
totally book you solid.

364
00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:31,710
Okay, this is worse than walking in on
sex. Let me know next time you have this

365
00:21:31,710 --> 00:21:32,710
toddler over.

366
00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:35,730
She's a bad witch.

367
00:21:36,870 --> 00:21:38,870
You know I have to live with that
person, right?

368
00:21:39,190 --> 00:21:40,190
Who cares?

369
00:21:40,350 --> 00:21:41,350
I don't.

370
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:48,410
Negative, prep, or undetectable?

371
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:49,750
Do you bottom often?

372
00:21:51,030 --> 00:21:54,070
Those are all good questions.

373
00:21:55,630 --> 00:21:56,630
I'm negative.

374
00:21:57,030 --> 00:21:58,030
I'm on prep.

375
00:21:58,190 --> 00:21:59,690
And I always wear a condom.

376
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:01,470
And I don't bottom a lot.

377
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:05,000
Actually, ever outside of my last
relationship.

378
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,200
Well, I told Chase I'm more of a top.

379
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:17,840
Oh, well, tops don't say they're more of
a top.

380
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,980
I don't think it's my thing.

381
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,080
Trust me.

382
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:23,760
It's your thing.

383
00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:26,340
I have bottom, Dar.

384
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,180
I just...

385
00:22:33,260 --> 00:22:34,340
I don't see myself that way.

386
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,560
That's homophobic bull.

387
00:22:38,780 --> 00:22:43,180
And if we're doing it right, you won't
see yourself at all.

388
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,060
I mean, I'm not totally against the
idea.

389
00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:52,680
But you can't tell anyone.

390
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,620
Being worried about people finding out
that you're a bottom?

391
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,040
That is just another closet.

392
00:23:12,910 --> 00:23:16,470
You know I made a shit ton of money
without ever taking out a single ad.

393
00:23:17,090 --> 00:23:18,490
Stop thinking of this as an ad.

394
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:20,170
This is foreplay.

395
00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:21,910
It's not very intimate.

396
00:23:22,330 --> 00:23:23,329
Not yet.

397
00:23:23,330 --> 00:23:24,330
Take off your clothes.

398
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,210
I'm flattered, but... Right.

399
00:23:27,310 --> 00:23:29,170
No. We're gonna take some pictures.

400
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,450
For the internet?

401
00:23:30,530 --> 00:23:32,410
Is there any other reason to take
pictures?

402
00:23:32,650 --> 00:23:34,870
He's not so much a pimp as a pimple.

403
00:23:35,570 --> 00:23:38,890
Strategically lit profile pics isn't
exactly how I see myself.

404
00:23:39,190 --> 00:23:42,070
Yeah, well, nobody really sees you as
anything right now.

405
00:23:42,490 --> 00:23:46,070
Look, people used to be all about
mysterious anonymous sex with random

406
00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:47,070
they'd never see again.

407
00:23:47,110 --> 00:23:48,110
They thought it was hot.

408
00:23:48,350 --> 00:23:49,490
But times have changed.

409
00:23:49,890 --> 00:23:52,650
It wasn't just the gays who came out of
the closet. The whole world did.

410
00:23:53,090 --> 00:23:54,870
Everyone shows everybody everything.

411
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:58,710
The best version of what you want is
just to click away. So why fuck someone

412
00:23:58,710 --> 00:24:01,230
anonymous when you can fuck someone
famous?

413
00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:03,930
You don't have to pay some homeless drug
addict to suck you off when you can

414
00:24:03,930 --> 00:24:05,850
just log on and order a goddamn porn
star.

415
00:24:06,710 --> 00:24:08,510
Now take off that ugly shirt and let's
take some pictures.

416
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:11,490
But sometimes I fucking loved it, kid.

417
00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:12,900
Yes, sir.

418
00:24:16,380 --> 00:24:18,840
Is that hair on your back?

419
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:27,800
That was... Daddy.

420
00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:33,920
Okay, maybe I'm starting to like being
called Daddy. Or maybe I'm just learning

421
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,160
to turn the other cheek.

422
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,820
I'll show you how easy it is to be a
YouTube star. Just talk. It's not that

423
00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:43,820
hard.

424
00:24:45,060 --> 00:24:46,060
Hi.

425
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:48,960
Call me X.

426
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,980
Okay, maybe that is harder than I
thought.

427
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,420
Well, I learned a lot from you, anyways.

428
00:24:55,820 --> 00:24:57,300
Maybe next semester I'll fist you.

429
00:24:59,260 --> 00:25:02,860
I'll call Chase next time I'm in town. I
have this fan event I'm doing, and

430
00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:05,800
you're definitely my biggest backer.

431
00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:07,340
Oh.

432
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:10,100
Take this.

433
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,000
Branding.

434
00:25:18,220 --> 00:25:22,380
If Andrew comes home, he'll flip out
when he realizes there's shaving cream

435
00:25:22,380 --> 00:25:24,260
over this stupid couch we've owned
forever.

436
00:25:24,620 --> 00:25:25,620
Hold still.

437
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:28,700
You're not that hairy, but you do not
show up on the state I'm sending you on

438
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:33,520
ungroomed. I hope it's as exciting as
the last one. God, I never knew I could

439
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:34,760
pee so much.

440
00:25:35,340 --> 00:25:37,880
Hey, you got paid to do what you have to
do every day anyway?

441
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:43,320
Plus, that guy was an influencer, John.
He works at a studio and knows a lot of

442
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,279
potential clients.

443
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,780
I'm building you up as an A -lister.

444
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,340
I feel more like a P -lister.

445
00:25:49,740 --> 00:25:51,740
Man, you never quit with the dad joke.

446
00:25:52,860 --> 00:25:54,860
You are gonna love this, John.

447
00:25:55,380 --> 00:25:56,380
He'll be good for you.

448
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,340
I always got nervous when Chase talked
up a client. The ones he said would be

449
00:26:00,340 --> 00:26:04,620
good for me were usually chosen to teach
me some kind of lesson that made sense

450
00:26:04,620 --> 00:26:06,460
in his warped little mind.

451
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:07,960
Okay.

452
00:26:09,420 --> 00:26:12,320
I texted you the address. Be there by
five.

453
00:26:12,580 --> 00:26:16,780
Go straight up to the room. You are not
allowed to be seen going in.

454
00:26:17,420 --> 00:26:18,420
Got it?

455
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,880
I think I got it, Mom.

456
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,180
Who is this client anyway?

457
00:26:22,820 --> 00:26:26,960
Let's just say this guy's going to teach
you a little something about branding.

458
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,560
As long as it's not the same kind of
branding they do to cows.

459
00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:38,100
I love you, Harry Shepard.

460
00:26:40,110 --> 00:26:43,990
Thanks. How long have you been in here?
I won't say anything, I promise. I just

461
00:26:43,990 --> 00:26:45,350
wanted a selfie for my profile.

462
00:26:45,550 --> 00:26:48,790
My friend is gonna shit and die when she
sees this.

463
00:26:49,490 --> 00:26:50,490
Hashtag goals.

464
00:26:51,530 --> 00:26:52,530
What do I do?

465
00:26:53,010 --> 00:26:54,590
Just do what you do best.

466
00:26:55,290 --> 00:26:56,290
Be yourself.

467
00:27:02,270 --> 00:27:03,550
Alright, let's do a selfie.

468
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,460
Do you mind taking it?

469
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,280
Iconic!

470
00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:32,220
Ink calls creep me out.

471
00:27:43,690 --> 00:27:44,810
Thanks for letting me come out.

472
00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:46,350
It won't be cheap.

473
00:27:47,310 --> 00:27:49,430
This one might be an actual confession.

474
00:27:50,430 --> 00:27:51,990
I'm really messed up.

475
00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:59,350
An in -call is when they come to you, as
opposed to an out -call where you go to

476
00:27:59,350 --> 00:28:04,530
them. An in -call can be a disaster if
the guy takes his time leaving or gets

477
00:28:04,530 --> 00:28:09,010
obsessed and decides to show up
randomly, which is called a get -the

478
00:28:09,010 --> 00:28:10,410
call. Nice place.

479
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:13,190
Who's this?

480
00:28:13,470 --> 00:28:17,190
Look, we could have small talk where you
lie to me about your life and I lie to

481
00:28:17,190 --> 00:28:18,550
you about who that is in that picture.

482
00:28:18,790 --> 00:28:24,050
Or we could go to the bedroom where I
could pound the shit out of you like the

483
00:28:24,050 --> 00:28:25,990
worthless piece of shit that you are.

484
00:28:27,070 --> 00:28:28,450
Let's do the second one.

485
00:28:36,630 --> 00:28:37,770
Here's the mortgage, sir.

486
00:28:38,710 --> 00:28:39,710
Thanks.

487
00:28:42,540 --> 00:28:43,540
You want to talk about it?

488
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:45,120
About what?

489
00:28:46,780 --> 00:28:48,580
Clearly you're steamed about something.

490
00:28:51,060 --> 00:28:52,560
What do you want to be when you grow up?

491
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,820
I'm not in the mood to argue about my
job.

492
00:28:55,020 --> 00:28:58,220
Actually, I'm never in the mood to argue
about my job. No, it's my job.

493
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,860
I had an especially shitty day at my
especially shitty job.

494
00:29:03,060 --> 00:29:06,600
Sorry. And you know what? I'm a grown
-ass man, and I don't know what I want

495
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:07,439
be.

496
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,440
Neither do I.

497
00:29:08,510 --> 00:29:11,610
How far into your 30s before it stops
being about what you're going to be and

498
00:29:11,610 --> 00:29:13,630
just starts being that's what you are?

499
00:29:13,870 --> 00:29:17,590
Like, when do you give up and just
accept you're not going to be anything

500
00:29:17,990 --> 00:29:20,110
I'm a fucking accounts payable
specialist.

501
00:29:20,470 --> 00:29:24,110
That's what I am. For me, the next step,
head accounts payable specialist.

502
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:27,850
And then maybe someday, if I'm super
lucky and the right people die, vice

503
00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:29,070
president of accounts payable.

504
00:29:31,510 --> 00:29:33,430
It's never too late to change things,
Andrew.

505
00:29:34,610 --> 00:29:35,610
I think you're wrong.

506
00:29:36,090 --> 00:29:37,610
I think it's awful too late.

507
00:29:44,330 --> 00:29:45,450
Always eat shirtless.

508
00:29:45,890 --> 00:29:46,930
You'll eat less that way.

509
00:29:47,170 --> 00:29:48,590
I hardly count this as eating.

510
00:29:48,810 --> 00:29:52,010
You know that movie where the popular
girl takes the weird girl and gives her

511
00:29:52,010 --> 00:29:53,630
makeover and teaches her how to be
popular too?

512
00:29:54,310 --> 00:29:55,390
Are you talking about Clueless?

513
00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:57,630
Haven't heard of it.

514
00:29:57,790 --> 00:30:00,610
Anyway, they should make a movie like
that but with gay prostitutes.

515
00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:04,750
That looks disgusting.

516
00:30:06,270 --> 00:30:07,270
Good.

517
00:30:08,430 --> 00:30:09,430
You'll eat less of it.

518
00:30:10,990 --> 00:30:12,410
Aren't you going to ask me what I want?

519
00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:14,330
I already know what you want.

520
00:30:14,670 --> 00:30:15,670
Are you sure?

521
00:30:16,110 --> 00:30:17,610
You want to be pushed around.

522
00:30:18,770 --> 00:30:20,370
That's why you keep coming back.

523
00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:21,710
You were born to be abused.

524
00:30:22,130 --> 00:30:24,110
Yes, sir. You love dirty talk.

525
00:30:24,330 --> 00:30:28,730
Yeah. Tell me how nasty I am. Don't
fucking tell me what to do. I'll tell

526
00:30:28,890 --> 00:30:30,910
Yes, sir. Take off my pants.

527
00:30:35,110 --> 00:30:37,690
But I do have one request this time.

528
00:30:39,130 --> 00:30:40,270
You know what kills me?

529
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,500
The longer I stay at this job, the less
chance I have of ever doing anything

530
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:47,360
else. It's like the skills I've learned
here are useless in the real world.

531
00:30:47,940 --> 00:30:49,720
Everyone has accounts that need to be
paid.

532
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,160
I mean, after the apocalypse, when they
go around asking all the survivors what

533
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,060
their skills are, I'll be useless.

534
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:02,340
So that's your definition of the real
world? How helpful you will be in a post

535
00:31:02,340 --> 00:31:04,080
-apocalyptic dystopian future?

536
00:31:04,620 --> 00:31:05,620
Yes.

537
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:06,940
Everything else is superficial.

538
00:31:07,870 --> 00:31:12,450
So what because we'd make you feel more
youthful and we're back at the beginning

539
00:31:12,450 --> 00:31:17,330
what I want to be I don't know just

540
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:43,840
my date oh yeah oh yeah yes sir please

541
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:49,980
sir oh do it i'll call you whatever i
want bitch

542
00:31:49,980 --> 00:31:56,680
no for real i need you to do it look man
i'm sorry it's just not my

543
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,980
thing no but it's my thing and it's why
i'm paying you a hell of a lot of money

544
00:32:00,980 --> 00:32:03,440
so i need you to fuck my brains out

545
00:32:04,140 --> 00:32:10,100
Treat me like I'm dirt and call me a...
For the first time in my life, I didn't

546
00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:11,100
have a clever comeback.

547
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:20,040
Question for you.

548
00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:21,220
Alright.

549
00:32:21,620 --> 00:32:26,360
If you could have any job, skills don't
matter, don't need connection, what

550
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:27,360
would it be?

551
00:32:28,420 --> 00:32:29,420
I'm not stupid.

552
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:31,420
That's the same question, slightly
refrained.

553
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,080
I don't need to be tricked into figuring
out what I want to do.

554
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:35,520
I literally don't know.

555
00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:38,280
Okay, you're right. That was a stupid
question.

556
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,120
How about this?

557
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,480
You win the lottery.

558
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,400
You're set for life, but not super rich.

559
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,160
You don't have to work. What do you do
with your days?

560
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,440
I don't know.

561
00:32:50,940 --> 00:32:52,200
Hang out, I guess.

562
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:54,300
Hang out?

563
00:32:54,460 --> 00:32:55,460
I don't know.

564
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,340
What does that even mean? When is one
not hanging out? I don't know.

565
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:00,680
See, I'm useless.

566
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,060
This isn't making me feel any better.

567
00:33:03,780 --> 00:33:05,120
Okay. Sorry.

568
00:33:09,620 --> 00:33:11,880
That's just not my word to say.

569
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,980
You got that right, but I'm not asking
you to put it in your regular rotation.

570
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,880
I just need it here and now.

571
00:33:17,180 --> 00:33:19,240
Why? What happened to you?

572
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:20,480
Don't look at me like that.

573
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:25,440
Don't psychoanalyze me. I do it for the
same reason I hire you, because it is

574
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:29,720
forbidden and it's sexy. I don't know
why it's part of my fantasy, but it is.

575
00:33:30,010 --> 00:33:31,010
Look, man, it's racist.

576
00:33:31,610 --> 00:33:35,570
You called me a worthless faggot. We can
call each other that. Ed, a couple of

577
00:33:35,570 --> 00:33:36,830
minutes ago, you called me a bitch.

578
00:33:37,030 --> 00:33:41,130
So? It's sexist. You'll use a gay slur
and a slur against women, but you won't

579
00:33:41,130 --> 00:33:42,470
call me an... on my dime.

580
00:33:42,870 --> 00:33:43,890
It's different.

581
00:33:44,930 --> 00:33:49,590
So if a person of any other race, as
part of their fantasy, wanted you to

582
00:33:49,590 --> 00:33:52,110
them a slur about that race, you would
deny them?

583
00:33:52,850 --> 00:33:57,270
He had me. Oh, God, the number of Nazi
fantasies I've been asked to fulfill.

584
00:33:57,650 --> 00:34:01,800
Well... But because I'm black, you're
going to refuse to give me the same

585
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,560
service you would give to a person of
any other race.

586
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:12,980
Just to make sure I'm crystal clear,
you're saying that I'd be racist if I

587
00:34:12,980 --> 00:34:14,580
didn't call you the N -word?

588
00:34:14,780 --> 00:34:17,780
If I did this, was I just contributing
to his shit?

589
00:34:18,260 --> 00:34:21,719
I wanted to fuck the shit out of him,
not fuck it deeper into him.

590
00:34:22,300 --> 00:34:24,620
Well, it's only fair.

591
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,820
If you won the lottery, I know what
you'd do with your days.

592
00:34:35,580 --> 00:34:36,580
Oh yeah, what's that?

593
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:38,820
Oh, you'd fuck around.

594
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,719
Play video games, get fat.

595
00:34:42,260 --> 00:34:44,620
But that only lasts for a few weeks.

596
00:34:45,699 --> 00:34:48,659
Months. Because you get bored. So you'd
get out and volunteer.

597
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,179
And knowing you...

598
00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:57,490
It'd be for some community organization
for fucking LGBTQIAA youth of color.

599
00:34:57,670 --> 00:35:01,510
And ironically, you'd end up helping
these kids figure out the one thing you

600
00:35:01,510 --> 00:35:02,810
can't figure out for yourself.

601
00:35:04,550 --> 00:35:05,930
What to do with their lives.

602
00:35:08,070 --> 00:35:10,810
You know, I hope that's what I would do.

603
00:35:13,030 --> 00:35:14,670
I like that you think that about me.

604
00:35:16,690 --> 00:35:17,690
Have a fun date.

605
00:35:18,890 --> 00:35:19,910
You gonna be out late?

606
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,300
Very late. It's date number five.

607
00:35:22,580 --> 00:35:24,840
Wow. Five date rules back in effect.

608
00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:28,200
Barely. I almost let him taste it last
weekend.

609
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:31,320
What about you?

610
00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:33,840
Uh, working.

611
00:35:39,100 --> 00:35:41,900
You need to rethink your policy on in
-calls if you want to maximize your

612
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:42,779
earning potential.

613
00:35:42,780 --> 00:35:43,940
Told you, I have a roommate.

614
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:44,959
Yes, I know.

615
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:45,960
I met him.

616
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:47,320
Exit act.

617
00:35:47,340 --> 00:35:49,100
Hooray. We'll book a random.

618
00:35:49,820 --> 00:35:50,900
He seems like he gets out.

619
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:52,160
Why my place?

620
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,340
I just don't see the need.

621
00:35:53,620 --> 00:35:56,360
Sometimes clients want certain things
that they can't have their neighbors

622
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:57,360
hearing.

623
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,740
Plus, if they book a hotel room, that's
just less money you're getting.

624
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:02,900
If they don't want their neighbors to
hear their shit, why would I want mine?

625
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,580
Because you're like me. You don't give a
shit what your neighbors think.

626
00:36:06,060 --> 00:36:08,860
In fact, you kind of want them to think
weird stuff about you.

627
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,280
Oh, yes.

628
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,880
Fuck me with your two -headed cock.

629
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:19,100
Why do I think you already have someone
in mind?

630
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:25,680
Yeah. Yeah.

631
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,500
Yeah. Say it. Say it, sir. Say it.

632
00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:34,820
Take it. Say it.

633
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:41,720
Take you fucking... Say it again. Say
it.

634
00:36:43,580 --> 00:36:45,420
Yes, I am.

635
00:36:45,820 --> 00:36:46,820
Say it louder.

636
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:48,280
Ah, yes.

637
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:49,660
Liberating, isn't it?

638
00:36:50,300 --> 00:36:51,640
You sucky...

639
00:37:00,910 --> 00:37:02,470
We almost got an old date for.

640
00:37:04,970 --> 00:37:06,950
What was that?

641
00:37:07,310 --> 00:37:09,270
Shit. It's my roommate.

642
00:37:09,570 --> 00:37:13,150
Yes. The James Dean type. You once
mentioned dating, but it's over now.

643
00:37:13,430 --> 00:37:14,408
Very over.

644
00:37:14,410 --> 00:37:15,410
As you can tell.

645
00:37:16,790 --> 00:37:17,990
We'll just be really quiet.

646
00:37:18,730 --> 00:37:20,370
Sir. Yes.

647
00:37:20,830 --> 00:37:22,610
Yes. Fucking take it.

648
00:37:23,610 --> 00:37:24,610
Yes.

649
00:37:25,950 --> 00:37:27,290
Did we just say no?

650
00:37:33,230 --> 00:37:35,070
Dean sounds more like Paula Dean. Mark
it.

651
00:37:35,390 --> 00:37:36,570
I don't know what that's about.

652
00:37:37,550 --> 00:37:38,990
Sorry, I gotta go.

653
00:37:39,430 --> 00:37:42,730
Why? Because if I stay, I'll go to jail
for beating you up.

654
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,800
Houses in the suburbs are the worst.

655
00:38:11,180 --> 00:38:15,200
Most suburban guys want to meet any
place but their home. The ones who are

656
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:19,920
enough to have you show up right at
their front door are 80 -90 % guaranteed

657
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:20,920
be assholes.

658
00:38:29,180 --> 00:38:30,180
Yeah?

659
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:32,900
Sorry, I think I have the wrong house.

660
00:38:33,180 --> 00:38:37,160
Are you at... Okay, maybe I don't.

661
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:39,440
I'm Sarah.

662
00:38:40,140 --> 00:38:42,800
This was the moment I decided to kill
Chase.

663
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:47,520
Follow me.

664
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,060
You're gonna love this new client.

665
00:38:58,480 --> 00:38:59,760
A real pleasure.

666
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,620
You know, you can never do too many pull
-ups.

667
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,620
And by that I mean, specifically...

668
00:39:07,820 --> 00:39:09,100
You can't.

669
00:39:09,780 --> 00:39:11,800
I think this is called bullying.

670
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:13,320
Hmm.

671
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:14,600
Pobretito.

672
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,860
Welcome to the kill room.

673
00:39:19,420 --> 00:39:21,900
Believe it or not, I'm a virgin in the
biblical sense.

674
00:39:22,620 --> 00:39:26,900
I've done every conceivable thing with a
man, but never has my penis ever made

675
00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:28,660
contact with any part of a woman.

676
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,440
I'm hoping that Sarah here just wants to
watch me bang her husband.

677
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,120
Here he is.

678
00:39:40,110 --> 00:39:41,110
This is Amelia.

679
00:39:41,550 --> 00:39:42,550
My wife.

680
00:39:43,830 --> 00:39:45,370
Hi. Hi.

681
00:39:55,670 --> 00:39:57,330
You do not bring tricks here.

682
00:39:57,630 --> 00:39:58,630
What?

683
00:39:59,370 --> 00:40:00,610
No more in -calls.

684
00:40:00,910 --> 00:40:02,290
I didn't even know you did those.

685
00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:03,308
I don't.

686
00:40:03,310 --> 00:40:08,230
I mean, I did once, but that was
special. How did you even know? I heard

687
00:40:08,230 --> 00:40:09,230
last night.

688
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:11,598
You were here?

689
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:12,600
Oh, I was here.

690
00:40:12,860 --> 00:40:14,000
What the fuck was that?

691
00:40:14,260 --> 00:40:17,440
You were supposed to be out on a date. I
was out on a date, and it was a really

692
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:21,180
good date. And I remember you said you
had to work, so I assumed you'd be in a

693
00:40:21,180 --> 00:40:24,440
hotel or an alley or a ditch or wherever
you turn tricks.

694
00:40:25,980 --> 00:40:31,400
So we progressed to here, my home, where
my ex -boyfriend is screaming the N

695
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,460
-word and doing Lord knows what kind of
12 years of slave shit in here.

696
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,560
I'm sorry.

697
00:40:41,290 --> 00:40:43,570
And yet, my date ditched me.

698
00:40:48,190 --> 00:40:49,610
Would you like something to drink?

699
00:40:50,090 --> 00:40:51,090
No, thanks.

700
00:40:51,310 --> 00:40:55,130
Everyone knows you never accept drinks
from a client. I'm gonna need one.

701
00:40:58,070 --> 00:41:03,770
So, the obvious question... Why would
two old married women hire a man?

702
00:41:04,070 --> 00:41:05,070
Yeah, that's the one.

703
00:41:05,390 --> 00:41:07,730
Well, you're not trying to get pregnant
if that's what you're worried about.

704
00:41:14,730 --> 00:41:18,450
They don't seem like the types to slip
me a Mickey and freeze parts of me in

705
00:41:18,450 --> 00:41:19,450
Tupperware.

706
00:41:19,690 --> 00:41:21,890
I think I will have some of that.

707
00:41:26,810 --> 00:41:28,710
He begged me to call him that.

708
00:41:29,150 --> 00:41:30,150
He paid me.

709
00:41:30,710 --> 00:41:31,730
He was black.

710
00:41:33,430 --> 00:41:35,350
How? Could you agree to that?

711
00:41:35,550 --> 00:41:37,690
He said it would be racist if I didn't
call him that.

712
00:41:38,990 --> 00:41:43,010
I wish there was an Obama speech on
YouTube I could play to explain why.

713
00:41:44,259 --> 00:41:45,259
But, no.

714
00:41:45,620 --> 00:41:49,540
There is no situation where it would be
racist if you didn't use the N -word.

715
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,080
You had to be there.

716
00:41:51,660 --> 00:41:52,660
I was there.

717
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,620
So, it's our anniversary, and we thought
we'd try something different.

718
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,880
We've always liked gay porn, but...
Sarah's never been with a man.

719
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:08,320
I have.

720
00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:12,300
College. Women's college. But they
always know where to find you, don't

721
00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:15,700
Not an ideal experience, but at least I
tried it.

722
00:42:16,340 --> 00:42:18,080
Bicurious? Bisexual.

723
00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:23,940
But I've only been with women, really. I
arranged this because I refuse to be

724
00:42:23,940 --> 00:42:25,680
complicit in bi erasure.

725
00:42:25,980 --> 00:42:29,800
Not that every bisexual needs to be with
both men and women.

726
00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:36,520
We're just... We're horny. Yeah. So are
you cool with just basically being our

727
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:37,520
dildo?

728
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:39,560
It's a living.

729
00:42:53,450 --> 00:42:54,450
Did that turn you on?

730
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:58,670
To be honest, most of my clients are
men.

731
00:42:59,070 --> 00:43:03,150
I told you he'd be gay. That doesn't
mean I can't give you what you want.

732
00:43:03,410 --> 00:43:07,870
no need to mansplain the spectrum of
human sexuality to us. Amelia, he's just

733
00:43:07,870 --> 00:43:08,689
trying to help.

734
00:43:08,690 --> 00:43:12,150
You do realize it looks like you're
about to murder someone in here.

735
00:43:12,430 --> 00:43:16,850
In my experience, guys tend to leave cum
and lube all over the place. In the one

736
00:43:16,850 --> 00:43:19,810
experience you've had? And in the gay
porn that we enjoy.

737
00:43:20,090 --> 00:43:21,130
No need to worry.

738
00:43:21,610 --> 00:43:24,690
The only thing that's getting murdered
up in here is my pussy.

739
00:43:27,090 --> 00:43:28,770
You have been with women before, right?

740
00:43:30,430 --> 00:43:31,430
Honestly.

741
00:43:33,270 --> 00:43:35,010
Shut the fuck up.

742
00:43:37,570 --> 00:43:38,810
Now I'm interested.

743
00:43:43,610 --> 00:43:45,350
I have sex with women all the time.

744
00:43:45,770 --> 00:43:46,770
For money?

745
00:43:47,030 --> 00:43:48,030
Not always.

746
00:43:49,650 --> 00:43:51,590
So... Do you consider yourself bisexual?

747
00:43:52,490 --> 00:43:55,130
No, I consider myself sexual.

748
00:43:55,430 --> 00:43:57,450
A very sexual homosexual.

749
00:44:01,810 --> 00:44:08,590
I'm definitely not one of those gay guys
who goes, ew, women. But I'm definitely

750
00:44:08,590 --> 00:44:09,569
a Kinsey sex.

751
00:44:09,570 --> 00:44:10,970
No interest whatsoever.

752
00:44:11,550 --> 00:44:13,770
But you've had sex with guys you've had
zero attraction to, right?

753
00:44:14,010 --> 00:44:15,070
So why not a girl?

754
00:44:15,490 --> 00:44:17,970
But they're guys, so there isn't zero
attraction.

755
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:23,980
I can find something in any man, some
attribute, physical or emotional, that I

756
00:44:23,980 --> 00:44:24,799
think is hot.

757
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,360
I concentrate on that, and then I fuck
it.

758
00:44:28,060 --> 00:44:29,440
And you can't do that with a girl?

759
00:44:29,780 --> 00:44:35,000
Well, it'd be like my mom walking in the
room. But if you had a female client...

760
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,120
Well, money changes everything.

761
00:44:38,060 --> 00:44:39,920
I think I could manage it.

762
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:41,360
I've been having it.

763
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:49,339
I don't know.

764
00:44:49,340 --> 00:44:50,500
How could you not know?

765
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:54,740
How could you not know? Look, I know
it's in something. I just don't know

766
00:44:54,980 --> 00:44:55,980
You're the professional.

767
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:57,820
Maybe it's not hard.

768
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,480
Well, yeah, it is a little squishy.

769
00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:00,860
It's hard.

770
00:45:00,940 --> 00:45:02,400
Here, let me.

771
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:15,220
It's hard, all right. Okay, that's
inside.

772
00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:23,080
Baby, ride that car.

773
00:45:23,860 --> 00:45:24,860
Yeah.

774
00:45:25,340 --> 00:45:30,900
No. I'm remembering college, flunkin'
chemistry, fighting with that passive

775
00:45:30,900 --> 00:45:33,060
-aggressive roommate of mine. What a
bitch.

776
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,860
Honey, it's all you, babe. Happy
anniversary.

777
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:57,120
Just a note, you don't have to say
everything you're thinking out loud.

778
00:45:58,180 --> 00:45:59,180
Oh.

779
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:05,660
I'm sending you an address.

780
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:07,440
It's not a woman, is it?

781
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,020
No, it's not.

782
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:10,740
A woman.

783
00:46:13,220 --> 00:46:15,140
Shit, this is in 30 minutes.

784
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,160
What's the deal with the whole working
out and taking off your clothes in front

785
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:24,038
of me routine?

786
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:25,040
I'm giving you a goal.

787
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,460
Consider me the picture on your
refrigerator.

788
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,840
I feel like it's my birthday.

789
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:40,760
Cherry Garcia, that's funny.

790
00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:42,960
We both just lost our cherries.

791
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:44,560
That hardly counts.

792
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:45,900
It went inside.

793
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:47,800
You get a badge badge.

794
00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:49,100
Inside?

795
00:46:49,420 --> 00:46:50,660
There's a lot more to it than that.

796
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:51,879
Amelia's right.

797
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:56,160
Technically, it went inside, but I don't
think I got a single thrust in. Is that

798
00:46:56,160 --> 00:47:01,080
sex? If it's not sex, do we have to pay
you? I don't get paid for the sex. I get

799
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:02,058
paid for the time.

800
00:47:02,060 --> 00:47:04,720
I'm going to say it counts, because I'm
not sure if we're ever going to do this

801
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,340
again. Thank God.

802
00:47:06,900 --> 00:47:08,120
No hard feelings.

803
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,360
At all, actually.

804
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:29,680
What are you doing?

805
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,140
Pull -ups. You can never do too many
pull -ups.

806
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,100
I mean, it feels like it's showing off.

807
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:38,400
Sorry.

808
00:47:44,940 --> 00:47:47,120
Okay, I can't stop thinking about this.

809
00:47:47,620 --> 00:47:49,080
I have to ask you something.

810
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,680
It's not about that.

811
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:53,879
It is.

812
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,800
It's about the guy and the word.

813
00:47:57,260 --> 00:48:02,960
So, just tell me, in the context of the
situation, no one can hear you guys.

814
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,540
Did you enjoy it? Just being able to
scream the word out loud.

815
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,040
No.

816
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,040
Don, I hope that's true.

817
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,320
I won't be doing it again.

818
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:20,500
Fair enough.

819
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,060
Let's just put it behind us.

820
00:48:24,980 --> 00:48:25,980
Deal.

821
00:48:27,790 --> 00:48:31,350
I know you don't like to hear any
details, but I had my first female

822
00:48:33,010 --> 00:48:34,030
Two, actually.

823
00:48:35,070 --> 00:48:36,070
Can you believe that?

824
00:48:36,530 --> 00:48:37,750
No, I can't.

825
00:48:39,010 --> 00:48:41,010
How was it?

826
00:48:43,310 --> 00:48:44,430
Easier than I thought it would be.

827
00:48:47,230 --> 00:48:48,230
Hmm.

828
00:48:51,310 --> 00:48:52,310
You know what?

829
00:48:53,670 --> 00:48:54,730
I'm going to give it to you.

830
00:48:55,820 --> 00:48:57,500
I'm going to say this counts as sex.

831
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,380
When did you come around?

832
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,460
Well, I asked myself, what's the worst
sex I ever had?

833
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:03,880
This wasn't it.

834
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:05,120
I'm flattered.

835
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:11,380
The worst sex was with a bagger from
Trader Joe's. Oh, God. Don't even say

836
00:49:11,380 --> 00:49:13,660
name. And we did less. A lot less.

837
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,980
And I have always considered that very
sad encounter sex.

838
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:19,960
So why not this?

839
00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:22,060
I appreciate it.

840
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,440
So tell me, X.

841
00:49:25,450 --> 00:49:26,910
Which I'm sure is your real name.

842
00:49:28,010 --> 00:49:29,510
You ever going to go pink again?

843
00:49:30,650 --> 00:49:35,370
Probably. I'm shocked it hasn't come up
sooner, so why not?

844
00:49:35,610 --> 00:49:38,270
I knew you were bisexual the minute you
walked in the door.

845
00:49:38,550 --> 00:49:40,470
For you, it wouldn't be.

846
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:57,620
Being on rent mean I was finally getting
jobs without Chase's mailman.

847
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:03,640
Pimps are nosy, controlling, full of
unsolicited advice, and they always want

848
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:04,640
your money.

849
00:50:05,660 --> 00:50:07,140
They're like preachers.

850
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:14,760
My least favorite clients are the ones
who play the it's unlocked, just walk in

851
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:18,940
game. They're pushy submissives who
think they're giving us an element of

852
00:50:18,940 --> 00:50:21,060
surprise, but I'm never surprised.

853
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:22,480
Hello?

854
00:50:23,950 --> 00:50:24,950
It's room service.

855
00:50:26,450 --> 00:50:27,850
I'm inside and shut the door.

856
00:50:39,430 --> 00:50:40,430
Hey.

857
00:50:41,050 --> 00:50:42,050
Smile.

858
00:50:46,110 --> 00:50:47,110
What's so funny?

859
00:50:48,730 --> 00:50:52,490
We have a mutual friend who hates it
when random people tell him to smile.

860
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:55,320
Our mutual friend?

861
00:50:56,300 --> 00:50:57,680
Sounds like a real douche.

862
00:51:00,140 --> 00:51:01,140
Thanks.

863
00:51:02,380 --> 00:51:04,880
If this is too in touch for you, leave
right now.

864
00:51:05,180 --> 00:51:06,960
Otherwise, come inside and shut the
door.

865
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,340
I didn't comply because I'm dumb enough
to fall for reverse psychology.

866
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:14,380
I did it because I'm hoping for a
surprise.

867
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,840
Good. Now lock the latch on the door.

868
00:51:21,100 --> 00:51:23,620
Normally, I'd say something snarky to
this guy.

869
00:51:24,060 --> 00:51:25,820
Like maybe a gay jigsaw reference.

870
00:51:26,100 --> 00:51:28,060
But that's what he wants me to do.

871
00:51:28,260 --> 00:51:29,360
There's a camera on the laptop.

872
00:51:32,740 --> 00:51:33,740
I know.

873
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:38,120
Oops. I didn't notice the camera. But
I'm sure I would have clocked it pretty

874
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,700
quickly. Welcome to the camera and show
me your face.

875
00:51:41,340 --> 00:51:42,640
I want to make sure you're cute.

876
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:45,640
Cameras don't bother me anymore.

877
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:50,140
These days it's safe to assume that
every single trick you have is being

878
00:51:51,060 --> 00:51:52,780
Filming me is going to cost you extra.

879
00:51:54,240 --> 00:51:55,320
Yo, what's up?

880
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:57,640
Guys like you are never here this early.

881
00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:59,220
Guys like me?

882
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:01,140
Guys with jobs.

883
00:52:02,900 --> 00:52:06,960
Well, I am no longer one of those guys.

884
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:09,120
Congratulations.

885
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,440
Wait, fired or quit?

886
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:14,080
Laid on.

887
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,840
Well, I just got laid on.

888
00:52:22,030 --> 00:52:23,590
God, you're like a little mini X.

889
00:52:26,410 --> 00:52:27,410
Don't touch the camera.

890
00:52:28,490 --> 00:52:30,010
Okay. I'm chill.

891
00:52:32,010 --> 00:52:33,010
Sit on the bed.

892
00:52:41,510 --> 00:52:42,570
I'll take off your clothes.

893
00:52:45,730 --> 00:52:48,170
Can you get him another one of those on
me?

894
00:52:48,430 --> 00:52:49,890
I don't need charity yet.

895
00:52:50,620 --> 00:52:53,820
Buying a drink for a hot guy isn't
charity.

896
00:52:56,940 --> 00:52:58,500
So how's the hustling business?

897
00:52:59,860 --> 00:53:01,460
Why don't you ask your ex -boyfriend?

898
00:53:02,860 --> 00:53:03,860
Touché.

899
00:53:04,720 --> 00:53:08,880
Sorry, when you're raised by strippers
and drag queens, your nails look pretty

900
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:09,880
sharp.

901
00:53:11,540 --> 00:53:12,540
True.

902
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,120
Sorry, I need to take care of business
first.

903
00:53:15,460 --> 00:53:19,200
What? Can you hold it? No. I mean, I
need to get paid.

904
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,280
This is as far as I go without seeing
some cash.

905
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:23,960
Oh, that.

906
00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:25,840
It's on the nightstand.

907
00:53:52,910 --> 00:53:53,910
I'm sorry.

908
00:53:53,990 --> 00:53:54,990
Let's start over.

909
00:53:55,410 --> 00:53:56,410
What?

910
00:53:56,710 --> 00:53:57,710
Thank you for the drink.

911
00:53:59,390 --> 00:54:00,390
How are you, Chase?

912
00:54:01,310 --> 00:54:02,310
I'm doing great.

913
00:54:03,430 --> 00:54:04,430
Sorry about the job.

914
00:54:05,410 --> 00:54:06,490
That's what's great about mine.

915
00:54:07,090 --> 00:54:08,090
Can't get fired.

916
00:54:08,650 --> 00:54:10,110
But you can get not hired.

917
00:54:10,710 --> 00:54:14,010
And thanks, but I hated my job anyway.

918
00:54:15,130 --> 00:54:16,830
Great. Then it was for the better.

919
00:54:17,890 --> 00:54:20,070
But I'll just wind up at another job
that I hate.

920
00:54:22,170 --> 00:54:27,450
Because, Chase, I don't know what will
make me happy.

921
00:54:29,570 --> 00:54:31,630
What does X think about all of this?

922
00:54:34,210 --> 00:54:35,210
He doesn't know.

923
00:54:36,450 --> 00:54:37,450
Oh.

924
00:54:38,190 --> 00:54:40,790
Did it just happen now?

925
00:54:41,270 --> 00:54:43,310
No. Last week.

926
00:54:46,430 --> 00:54:47,430
That's hot.

927
00:54:47,470 --> 00:54:49,370
Now I want you to take off your
underwear.

928
00:54:49,930 --> 00:54:51,840
By the way. You're so hot.

929
00:54:52,460 --> 00:54:53,460
Go ahead.

930
00:54:53,580 --> 00:54:54,580
Take them off.

931
00:54:54,740 --> 00:54:55,780
I could do that.

932
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,360
Or you could come out here and do it for
me.

933
00:55:00,220 --> 00:55:01,440
You wouldn't like me.

934
00:55:03,740 --> 00:55:04,740
Look.

935
00:55:05,240 --> 00:55:09,100
Whatever it is you're hiding in there,
there's nothing I haven't seen before.

936
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:10,980
I'm not very sexy.

937
00:55:12,940 --> 00:55:13,940
Everyone is sexy.

938
00:55:14,700 --> 00:55:16,680
I guarantee you are sexy.

939
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:18,600
No. Not me.

940
00:55:19,210 --> 00:55:22,650
Why don't you come out here and let me
tell you what I think is sexy about you.

941
00:55:26,590 --> 00:55:30,510
You're just saying that because
you're... Because you are what you are.

942
00:55:31,230 --> 00:55:32,230
I'll be honest.

943
00:55:33,230 --> 00:55:34,470
Look, you already paid me.

944
00:55:35,190 --> 00:55:37,130
I could just put on a show and leave.

945
00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:38,750
Right?

946
00:55:46,790 --> 00:55:48,390
I don't know why I haven't told him.

947
00:55:48,940 --> 00:55:49,940
Oh, I do.

948
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:53,960
Enlighten me.

949
00:55:55,020 --> 00:55:57,940
You haven't told him because you don't
have an answer to the obvious question.

950
00:55:58,960 --> 00:55:59,960
What next?

951
00:56:00,420 --> 00:56:02,240
Ah, is that it?

952
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:04,340
No, there's more.

953
00:56:05,420 --> 00:56:09,040
You don't want him to be part of
figuring out what's next because you

954
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:10,040
own this next part of your life.

955
00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:12,760
You want it to be completely independent
from him.

956
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,480
Part of it's to convince him you don't
need him anymore, but... Mostly?

957
00:56:17,580 --> 00:56:19,740
Depending on you, you don't need them.

958
00:56:28,220 --> 00:56:30,280
Are all hustlers aspiring psychologists?

959
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:34,360
No. Most of us are just drug addicts.

960
00:56:43,720 --> 00:56:45,700
Holy shit, how old are you?

961
00:56:46,060 --> 00:56:48,060
Fifteen. Wait, don't leave.

962
00:56:48,260 --> 00:56:51,840
I'm sorry, kid, and I have to play to
catch a predator with someone else. Stay

963
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:53,240
here. I'll go back in the bathroom.

964
00:56:53,460 --> 00:56:54,460
This is illegal.

965
00:56:54,740 --> 00:56:55,740
Prostitution is illegal.

966
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:57,080
This is more illegal.

967
00:56:57,620 --> 00:56:58,920
If you try to leave, I'll scream.

968
00:57:00,220 --> 00:57:01,860
Well, I asked for a surprise.

969
00:57:17,450 --> 00:57:18,450
I know.

970
00:57:18,570 --> 00:57:19,570
Stop it if you want.

971
00:57:22,110 --> 00:57:23,110
Stop.

972
00:57:24,090 --> 00:57:25,090
You're bloody.

973
00:57:26,070 --> 00:57:27,070
Try me.

974
00:57:29,330 --> 00:57:30,330
Fine.

975
00:57:31,330 --> 00:57:32,610
I have to go to work anyway.

976
00:57:35,390 --> 00:57:36,390
Chase.

977
00:57:39,230 --> 00:57:40,690
It was nice talking to you.

978
00:57:43,030 --> 00:57:44,030
Thank you.

979
00:57:54,380 --> 00:57:55,380
You need to get loud.

980
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,100
You scared me.

981
00:57:58,700 --> 00:58:00,140
This is not going to happen.

982
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,500
It's not just illegal.

983
00:58:01,980 --> 00:58:02,980
It's wrong.

984
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:05,760
You're such a hypocrite.

985
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:11,120
You were exactly my age when you lost
your virginity to some guy in his 40s.

986
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:12,620
How did you know that?

987
00:58:12,860 --> 00:58:14,620
Your Rent Me profile linked to your
blog.

988
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:16,420
I didn't know that was still up.

989
00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:19,680
I know what I'm doing. I want to have
sex. It's my choice.

990
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:20,920
And I'm all for that?

991
00:58:21,260 --> 00:58:22,320
It's just...

992
00:58:22,590 --> 00:58:24,570
I think you should be doing it with
someone your own age.

993
00:58:26,130 --> 00:58:29,690
For some reason, Rent Me doesn't have
any profiles for 15 -year -old

994
00:58:29,690 --> 00:58:30,690
prostitutes.

995
00:58:32,690 --> 00:58:37,570
Look, in a couple of years, you are
going to have a ton of sex.

996
00:58:37,810 --> 00:58:41,210
Someone as smooth as you is going to get
all types of action.

997
00:58:42,070 --> 00:58:43,470
I have neuroblastoma.

998
00:58:47,190 --> 00:58:48,190
It's cancer.

999
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:54,960
A couple years has been very realistic
for me.

1000
00:58:55,700 --> 00:59:01,200
Look, can I put on my clothes, and then
we can just sit and talk?

1001
00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:03,280
I promise I won't go anywhere.

1002
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:09,040
First, give me your phone, so I know you
won't run out the door.

1003
00:59:23,630 --> 00:59:24,630
Okay, trust.

1004
00:59:52,460 --> 00:59:54,000
I didn't know you were working here.

1005
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,340
I work everywhere I am.

1006
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:02,120
Actually,

1007
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,160
I don't have cancer.

1008
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:11,700
What the fuck? I just didn't want you to
leave.

1009
01:00:12,020 --> 01:00:13,020
Give me my phone.

1010
01:00:13,140 --> 01:00:14,220
I tried to kill myself.

1011
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:16,100
Give me my phone.

1012
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,620
Pills. I took all my grandma's arthritis
medicine.

1013
01:00:46,060 --> 01:00:47,940
And a whole bottle of vitamin C.

1014
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,600
I thought any kind of pills would kill
you if you took a whole bottle of them.

1015
01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:55,920
It took forever to swallow them all.

1016
01:00:58,200 --> 01:00:59,780
Why would you do that?

1017
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:03,080
Um, what's your name?

1018
01:01:03,780 --> 01:01:04,780
Charlie.

1019
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:06,200
I knew why.

1020
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:09,820
He's the kind of gay nerd that asshole
jocks dream about bullying.

1021
01:01:10,540 --> 01:01:11,780
Bullies peak in middle school.

1022
01:01:12,140 --> 01:01:14,520
Kids like Charlie don't blossom until
they're adults.

1023
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:16,400
They can make it that far.

1024
01:01:17,380 --> 01:01:19,700
People have picked on me ever since I
can remember.

1025
01:01:22,100 --> 01:01:23,360
And I could deal with it.

1026
01:01:26,020 --> 01:01:27,400
Then I came out of the closet.

1027
01:01:29,580 --> 01:01:31,560
I waited until I was 13.

1028
01:01:33,020 --> 01:01:38,650
Waited? I knew if I came out, the police
might get worse, but I thought, at

1029
01:01:38,650 --> 01:01:39,830
least I won't be alone anymore.

1030
01:01:42,850 --> 01:01:44,190
I'll finally have some friends.

1031
01:01:45,530 --> 01:01:48,090
I watched all those It Gets Better
videos.

1032
01:01:50,810 --> 01:01:54,510
And there's the GSA at our school. I
thought the kids there would have to be

1033
01:01:54,510 --> 01:01:55,510
friends.

1034
01:01:58,330 --> 01:01:59,830
But the gay kids are worse.

1035
01:02:02,150 --> 01:02:05,940
They all called me a... basic bitch and
wanna be gay.

1036
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:10,440
And they're embarrassed to be around me.

1037
01:02:13,220 --> 01:02:18,880
I mean, if no one in the GSA will talk
to me, then it's just not gonna happen.

1038
01:02:19,900 --> 01:02:22,660
This kid wasn't being bullied for being
gay.

1039
01:02:22,900 --> 01:02:26,180
He was being bullied for being really
bad at it.

1040
01:02:55,060 --> 01:02:59,920
All I got's the five.

1041
01:03:03,020 --> 01:03:04,420
We are gonna fuck.

1042
01:03:05,020 --> 01:03:06,020
One day.

1043
01:03:07,220 --> 01:03:14,020
There is nothing

1044
01:03:14,020 --> 01:03:15,960
wrong with being a basic bitch.

1045
01:03:16,410 --> 01:03:18,270
I'm the most basic bitch there is.

1046
01:03:25,530 --> 01:03:27,330
What's that? The Trevor hotline?

1047
01:03:27,630 --> 01:03:28,630
No.

1048
01:03:28,910 --> 01:03:29,910
It's my number.

1049
01:03:31,570 --> 01:03:34,210
Don't ever feel like you don't have
anyone to talk to.

1050
01:03:34,810 --> 01:03:35,810
You know what?

1051
01:03:35,930 --> 01:03:38,510
I am going to write down the number for
the Trevor project.

1052
01:03:40,230 --> 01:03:42,470
Because if you can't reach me, you try
them.

1053
01:03:43,270 --> 01:03:44,990
You never know, you might be surprised.

1054
01:03:46,030 --> 01:03:48,910
So we can, like, hang out?

1055
01:03:49,750 --> 01:03:50,750
Yeah.

1056
01:03:51,650 --> 01:03:53,550
Only if we're fully clothed.

1057
01:04:37,130 --> 01:04:38,250
How did you find me?

1058
01:04:38,490 --> 01:04:41,950
You gave us direction. We could smell
your rotten carcass for miles.

1059
01:04:44,290 --> 01:04:46,290
Rooting out evil is what we do.

1060
01:04:46,870 --> 01:04:49,330
I hope you don't think I'll give up
easily.

1061
01:04:49,630 --> 01:04:51,610
Oh, I'm counting on you putting up a
fight.

1062
01:04:53,290 --> 01:04:54,290
Hammerjack?

1063
01:04:57,810 --> 01:05:01,690
And Tigerbowl? Are you ready for a
mouthful of justice?

1064
01:05:02,570 --> 01:05:05,470
A combined 14 inches of justice.

1065
01:05:06,780 --> 01:05:07,578
Good luck.

1066
01:05:07,580 --> 01:05:13,900
You'll never pin me down. For I am...
Professor

1067
01:05:13,900 --> 01:05:15,420
Trenchbottom!

1068
01:05:16,460 --> 01:05:18,740
From the impenetrable deep!

1069
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:25,920
This confession is my hardest.

1070
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:27,520
No pun intended.

1071
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:28,800
For once.

1072
01:05:47,500 --> 01:05:49,620
This has to be the all -time dumbest
idea.

1073
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,080
Super stupid.

1074
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:52,480
What are you talking about?

1075
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:56,440
This is making money while waiting to
make more money. You just like the

1076
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:57,440
attention.

1077
01:05:57,820 --> 01:06:01,560
I want to earn a living. I need to move
out of my place sooner or later.

1078
01:06:01,700 --> 01:06:06,020
Probably sooner. I can't waste my time
making 50 bucks plus tips and playing

1079
01:06:06,020 --> 01:06:08,920
dress -up. It's called cosplay.

1080
01:06:10,990 --> 01:06:12,910
I seriously advise you to get an
internet connection.

1081
01:06:13,250 --> 01:06:18,170
You're so very funny. Trust me, babe. I
always get picked up here. When these

1082
01:06:18,170 --> 01:06:23,090
comic book geeks be real live
superheroes, they can't hold back. They

1083
01:06:23,090 --> 01:06:28,850
jacking off to cartoons their entire
lives. And finally, the cartoons can

1084
01:06:28,850 --> 01:06:29,850
back.

1085
01:06:32,490 --> 01:06:33,510
I'm Hammerjack.

1086
01:06:33,850 --> 01:06:35,130
You are sexy.

1087
01:06:35,470 --> 01:06:39,130
It was an indoor version of Hollywood
and Highland or Times Square.

1088
01:06:40,299 --> 01:06:44,100
desperate panhandlers in second -hand
costumes begging for attention and spare

1089
01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:48,480
change. Listen, I appreciate you showing
me the ropes and all, but I'd probably

1090
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:50,340
have to strike out on my own eventually.

1091
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:52,420
Dude, that's exactly what'll happen.

1092
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:54,080
You'll strike out.

1093
01:06:54,900 --> 01:06:56,180
Why throw a little faith in me?

1094
01:06:56,500 --> 01:06:59,520
I have you branded better than your
confession blogs and your write -me ads.

1095
01:06:59,620 --> 01:07:00,820
It's getting mega traffic.

1096
01:07:01,100 --> 01:07:04,340
Yeah, and I spent half the day fielding
requests for dick pic. And the other

1097
01:07:04,340 --> 01:07:05,340
half not getting jobs.

1098
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:08,560
Okay, you're making more money with me
than you would have without me even

1099
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:09,388
my cut.

1100
01:07:09,390 --> 01:07:12,830
Be patient, young -ish Skywalker.

1101
01:07:13,690 --> 01:07:14,870
All will be revealed.

1102
01:07:15,690 --> 01:07:19,730
At least I look good in spandex. The
highest this kid has me on is working.

1103
01:07:30,570 --> 01:07:35,890
That picture punches me in the gut every
time I walk into this house.

1104
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:39,600
It probably does the same to Andrew.

1105
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:42,680
Neither of us have had the guts to take
it the fuck down.

1106
01:07:44,020 --> 01:07:45,720
So much hope and love.

1107
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:47,160
Youth.

1108
01:07:47,500 --> 01:07:49,360
Even though we thought we were old back
then.

1109
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:53,900
But not seeing it would sting more than
seeing it.

1110
01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:58,820
Living with your ex is ridiculous.

1111
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:03,260
Sure, I have excuses. The housing
market. We're trapped.

1112
01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:05,360
Besides, we're grown men.

1113
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:10,740
It's all... Bullshit. I'm stuck here
because I want to be.

1114
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:13,080
X, is that you?

1115
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,580
Yeah, I didn't know you were here.

1116
01:08:16,979 --> 01:08:18,680
I'm all powerful.

1117
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:24,420
There's no way to stop me from
destroying the whole city now.

1118
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:31,060
All he needs is a cat to stroke.

1119
01:08:31,279 --> 01:08:32,420
He's right, Tigerbolt.

1120
01:08:32,740 --> 01:08:36,540
Maybe we can't stop him. But we can top
him.

1121
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:42,399
What? Yes. Two simple injections. One
for myself and one for my true -hearted

1122
01:08:42,399 --> 01:08:43,399
friend.

1123
01:08:43,819 --> 01:08:45,939
Brilliant idea, Hammerjack.

1124
01:08:46,220 --> 01:08:49,160
This energy charge should make you
submit, Dr.

1125
01:08:49,620 --> 01:08:50,620
Trenchbottom.

1126
01:08:51,220 --> 01:08:52,220
Oh!

1127
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:56,580
Can't resist the power!

1128
01:08:58,260 --> 01:09:05,020
Quick, Tigerbolt. The serum. Jam in his
weak spot. Must remain strong.

1129
01:09:06,809 --> 01:09:07,850
Wait, Tegervolt.

1130
01:09:08,170 --> 01:09:09,250
Time is running out.

1131
01:09:11,710 --> 01:09:12,970
No, no.

1132
01:09:13,609 --> 01:09:15,810
You're not rubber, man. You're thick.

1133
01:09:16,250 --> 01:09:18,069
I don't want the condom guide.

1134
01:09:19,970 --> 01:09:22,250
You're frozen for one second, Trench
Bottom.

1135
01:09:28,130 --> 01:09:29,130
I like it raw.

1136
01:09:29,689 --> 01:09:30,930
That's none of my business.

1137
01:09:31,350 --> 01:09:32,550
But he's so adorably old.

1138
01:09:32,790 --> 01:09:35,010
How can you say no? Easy. No.

1139
01:09:35,730 --> 01:09:37,010
Superheroes put safety first.

1140
01:09:37,250 --> 01:09:37,929
Calm down.

1141
01:09:37,930 --> 01:09:41,350
You're on prep, right? Yes, I'm on prep,
but I'm also on the original prep. I

1142
01:09:41,350 --> 01:09:42,470
have safe sex.

1143
01:09:42,870 --> 01:09:44,470
Yay, the 80s.

1144
01:09:44,689 --> 01:09:46,170
Um, you're talking him.

1145
01:09:46,529 --> 01:09:47,649
Can't you just go with the flow?

1146
01:09:48,069 --> 01:09:52,450
There was no doubting it. This kid was a
genius in some ways, an evil genius.

1147
01:09:52,970 --> 01:09:57,210
But in that moment, it was painfully
obvious he was also a kid.

1148
01:09:57,590 --> 01:10:01,410
Look, all I can say is with great power
comes great responsibility.

1149
01:10:02,450 --> 01:10:04,830
Fine, we'll work around it.

1150
01:10:05,960 --> 01:10:07,360
Don't let him see you put the fucking
thing on.

1151
01:10:08,660 --> 01:10:10,520
Your ice grip wore off.

1152
01:10:10,820 --> 01:10:13,380
You'll have to catch me if you're going
to stop me.

1153
01:10:17,080 --> 01:10:21,340
This job just went 64.

1154
01:10:22,060 --> 01:10:24,360
Not so fast, Trench Bottom.

1155
01:10:27,620 --> 01:10:32,240
My high school guidance counselor would
be so proud.

1156
01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:43,160
Don't you ever wonder what you're going
to do with the rest of your life when

1157
01:10:43,160 --> 01:10:48,040
you realize you're over doing stuff like
this? Nope, because probably, like you,

1158
01:10:48,180 --> 01:10:49,340
I will be doing it anyway.

1159
01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:54,520
My own personal Yoda. I'm so over this.
I could make more money selling actual

1160
01:10:54,520 --> 01:10:57,160
wieners. God, you are such a nag.

1161
01:10:57,700 --> 01:11:01,340
These pictures are free ads. Just make
sure these guys are tagging you on

1162
01:11:01,340 --> 01:11:04,540
Instagram. All of their friends are
going to want to fuck you. And their

1163
01:11:04,540 --> 01:11:07,400
are going to share it with their
friends. And their friends' friends want

1164
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:08,179
fuck you too.

1165
01:11:08,180 --> 01:11:10,900
And once these friends and their
friends' friends start looking up your

1166
01:11:10,900 --> 01:11:14,200
and realizing that they can fuck you,
you'll be cashing in.

1167
01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:15,920
It's simple math.

1168
01:11:16,580 --> 01:11:18,360
Sounds like a fucking pyramid scheme.

1169
01:11:18,980 --> 01:11:21,560
Exactly. A fucking pyramid.

1170
01:11:25,900 --> 01:11:29,920
I'm confused about when you need the
place.

1171
01:11:30,660 --> 01:11:31,660
Hard to keep track.

1172
01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:33,160
It's not that complicated.

1173
01:11:35,840 --> 01:11:37,100
You look dead. Are you sick?

1174
01:11:37,900 --> 01:11:38,719
Thank you.

1175
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:42,580
That's part of the whole diet exercise
I'm doing. I want to look so gaunt

1176
01:11:42,580 --> 01:11:43,580
worry I'm dying.

1177
01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:45,200
I thought the goal was to have muscle.

1178
01:11:45,540 --> 01:11:48,780
That too. I want to be transparently
thin while having big biceps.

1179
01:11:49,520 --> 01:11:51,000
Who says you can't have it all?

1180
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:53,000
You hungry?

1181
01:11:54,460 --> 01:11:55,460
Are we good?

1182
01:11:55,980 --> 01:11:57,840
You told your friend no rubbers.

1183
01:11:58,549 --> 01:12:02,170
Obviously, the serum won't work if we
can't inject it into you.

1184
01:12:03,410 --> 01:12:04,410
Inject me.

1185
01:12:04,530 --> 01:12:05,830
Shoot me raw.

1186
01:12:09,330 --> 01:12:14,210
Call me old -fashioned, but HIV isn't
the only thing out there. And resisting

1187
01:12:14,210 --> 01:12:17,070
incurable gonorrhea is not my
superpower.

1188
01:12:33,960 --> 01:12:38,020
I remember when gay people were way too
cool to be proud nerds.

1189
01:12:38,340 --> 01:12:42,620
Maybe we were just overcompensating for
being tormented 24 -7.

1190
01:12:43,420 --> 01:12:48,340
Now, we're free to put on tights and
revel in superhero fandoms with reckless

1191
01:12:48,340 --> 01:12:50,260
abandon. Maybe I'm jealous.

1192
01:12:50,560 --> 01:12:55,680
Maybe I just wish I could love something
as passionately as whatever this guy's

1193
01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:56,680
into.

1194
01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:01,560
While you were in the john, I got us
something.

1195
01:13:01,980 --> 01:13:04,900
An old guy waiting for John Barrowman
wants to have a three -way.

1196
01:13:05,260 --> 01:13:06,260
$600 each.

1197
01:13:06,360 --> 01:13:11,200
There was a time I wouldn't get into bed
for under $1 ,000. But these days, $600

1198
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:12,139
is generous.

1199
01:13:12,140 --> 01:13:15,620
I mean, fitness models only make $350 on
Rent Me.

1200
01:13:15,840 --> 01:13:18,820
He probably just wants to play dress -up
and slide up and down our back poles.

1201
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:32,960
I'm not ready to hear about a boyfriend.

1202
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:34,360
Don't be a boyfriend.

1203
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:35,680
You have a boyfriend?

1204
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:38,360
No. God, no, I wish.

1205
01:13:38,620 --> 01:13:39,860
Uh, uh, no.

1206
01:13:40,560 --> 01:13:43,360
Um... I lost my job.

1207
01:13:44,460 --> 01:13:45,960
Shit. I'm sorry.

1208
01:13:46,180 --> 01:13:47,480
No, it's okay. I'm all right.

1209
01:13:48,520 --> 01:13:49,580
It was two weeks ago.

1210
01:13:52,960 --> 01:13:57,140
Thank you, boys.

1211
01:13:57,520 --> 01:13:59,200
It was worth every penny.

1212
01:14:00,590 --> 01:14:01,590
I need to use the bathroom.

1213
01:14:01,870 --> 01:14:02,870
Wash off my dick.

1214
01:14:03,450 --> 01:14:04,750
Down the hall to the left.

1215
01:14:10,330 --> 01:14:11,330
You'll be fine.

1216
01:14:12,590 --> 01:14:13,650
I'm undetectable.

1217
01:14:14,930 --> 01:14:16,250
Don't look so mortified.

1218
01:14:16,530 --> 01:14:19,590
I'm undetectable. He's on prep. You wore
a condom.

1219
01:14:20,190 --> 01:14:21,190
I could tell.

1220
01:14:21,490 --> 01:14:22,810
Your ass is that sensitive?

1221
01:14:23,390 --> 01:14:24,810
I could see it in your face.

1222
01:14:25,330 --> 01:14:28,270
Plus, I just saw you slip a used condom
in your pocket.

1223
01:14:30,280 --> 01:14:31,280
Can I have it?

1224
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:35,520
Sure.

1225
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:37,920
It's all yours.

1226
01:14:44,260 --> 01:14:45,940
No one's gonna catch anything.

1227
01:14:47,420 --> 01:14:50,600
Don't you stay up on this stuff? You of
all people should.

1228
01:14:50,860 --> 01:14:52,340
I do read all the latest literature.

1229
01:14:52,780 --> 01:14:58,360
It's just... I don't park my Peter
without his costume on.

1230
01:14:58,810 --> 01:15:02,410
I stopped taking risks when I was with
someone, and I've kept it up since.

1231
01:15:03,430 --> 01:15:04,430
It's my policy.

1232
01:15:04,770 --> 01:15:06,910
I'm not trying to be a bad influence.

1233
01:15:08,470 --> 01:15:13,430
Kids like Chase don't really get it, but
you and I both lived through the 90s

1234
01:15:13,430 --> 01:15:14,850
when people were still dying.

1235
01:15:16,010 --> 01:15:17,530
I thought I was going to die.

1236
01:15:19,470 --> 01:15:26,370
I moved in with my mother 25 years ago
so she could be there when I passed

1237
01:15:26,370 --> 01:15:27,370
on.

1238
01:15:28,620 --> 01:15:30,180
I rarely left the house.

1239
01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:33,240
Just read my comic.

1240
01:15:34,480 --> 01:15:36,260
And I was a saint.

1241
01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:40,480
No sex for 24 years.

1242
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:46,840
Turns out I was there when she passed
last year.

1243
01:15:49,820 --> 01:15:56,720
And I realized my mother, the house, the
HIV, none of

1244
01:15:56,720 --> 01:15:58,760
that. controlled me.

1245
01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:01,600
It was me.

1246
01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:07,540
I wasn't letting myself have sex because
I felt like I didn't deserve it.

1247
01:16:10,900 --> 01:16:14,000
Well, you're doing an excellent job of
making up for lost time.

1248
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:16,200
Are you slut -shaming me?

1249
01:16:16,420 --> 01:16:17,880
No. No, I'm impressed.

1250
01:16:18,380 --> 01:16:24,140
It doesn't take superhuman powers of
perception to see that you're in the

1251
01:16:24,140 --> 01:16:25,140
boat.

1252
01:16:25,900 --> 01:16:29,960
You're denying yourself something
because you think you don't deserve it.

1253
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:38,520
We'll tune in next week.

1254
01:16:43,100 --> 01:16:47,220
This is all very touching and sweet,
but, Harris, do you have our, you know,

1255
01:16:47,300 --> 01:16:49,760
cash? We saved the day and we need our
loot.

1256
01:16:50,020 --> 01:16:51,100
Can you do PayPal?

1257
01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:52,500
Of course.

1258
01:16:52,820 --> 01:16:53,820
We can?

1259
01:17:01,380 --> 01:17:03,460
So, what have you been doing with your
days?

1260
01:17:04,660 --> 01:17:05,660
You're looking at it.

1261
01:17:06,280 --> 01:17:07,280
Sitting.

1262
01:17:07,740 --> 01:17:08,740
Eating.

1263
01:17:09,760 --> 01:17:10,900
Wondering what the hell I'm gonna do.

1264
01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:13,500
I could make some call.

1265
01:17:14,840 --> 01:17:15,840
I don't need your help.

1266
01:17:16,040 --> 01:17:17,580
I'm just trying to be nice.

1267
01:17:17,880 --> 01:17:19,620
I'm sorry. I mean, I don't need help
finding a job.

1268
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:24,960
I got an inbox full of these. I just...
I don't think I want one.

1269
01:17:26,080 --> 01:17:27,140
Nobody wants a job.

1270
01:17:27,540 --> 01:17:30,100
It's like I'm living this life. It isn't
mine yet.

1271
01:17:30,700 --> 01:17:32,280
Waiting for my real life to kick in.

1272
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:35,400
But this is it.

1273
01:17:36,440 --> 01:17:37,440
This is my life.

1274
01:17:38,800 --> 01:17:42,220
And it's passing by and I still have so
much shit to figure out.

1275
01:17:45,180 --> 01:17:46,180
Yeah.

1276
01:17:47,080 --> 01:17:48,100
I know what you mean.

1277
01:17:49,700 --> 01:17:50,700
Do you?

1278
01:17:51,580 --> 01:17:53,700
We've been in this limbo for way too
long.

1279
01:17:54,360 --> 01:17:55,460
And it's my fault.

1280
01:17:58,260 --> 01:17:59,660
We can't keep going like this.

1281
01:18:01,740 --> 01:18:03,100
Living together, broken up.

1282
01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:07,800
I feel like I'm walking down a long
hallway looking for a door.

1283
01:18:10,620 --> 01:18:11,620
You're right.

1284
01:18:12,520 --> 01:18:13,580
We can't.

1285
01:18:14,800 --> 01:18:19,640
It's just... I had a bit of an epiphany
tonight.

1286
01:18:20,360 --> 01:18:23,440
I realized I was doing something or not
doing something.

1287
01:18:24,060 --> 01:18:26,940
Mainly because I was thinking about how
it could affect you.

1288
01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:29,280
Even if it only affected me.

1289
01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:31,420
Does that make any sense?

1290
01:18:33,260 --> 01:18:34,260
Yeah.

1291
01:18:35,440 --> 01:18:36,640
That's what couples do.

1292
01:18:38,660 --> 01:18:40,120
It's more than that.

1293
01:18:42,060 --> 01:18:43,900
You're in my head, Andrew.

1294
01:18:45,400 --> 01:18:49,440
A piece of you is in every single
thought I have.

1295
01:18:51,260 --> 01:18:54,520
I can't look at the world without seeing
it through your eyes.

1296
01:18:56,760 --> 01:18:59,080
Breaking up with you was a mistake.

1297
01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:03,060
It's like I'm trying to tear off a piece
of myself.

1298
01:19:03,660 --> 01:19:04,860
It's ridiculous.

1299
01:19:06,860 --> 01:19:08,620
Let's figure this out together.

1300
01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:16,420
Is that spandex?

1301
01:19:21,440 --> 01:19:28,400
If you said this a

1302
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:33,410
month ago... Even a week ago, we go
straight to make -up sex.

1303
01:19:36,330 --> 01:19:41,150
But, X, I am this close to getting over
you.

1304
01:19:42,030 --> 01:19:46,930
I can see the door at the end of the
hallway, and I need to open it.

1305
01:19:48,510 --> 01:19:52,010
I need to figure myself out, or else
we're just going to wind up right back

1306
01:19:52,010 --> 01:19:53,010
the same situation.

1307
01:19:57,610 --> 01:19:58,750
And I need to do this.

1308
01:20:01,429 --> 01:20:02,950
Not living with you.

1309
01:20:09,510 --> 01:20:10,510
You're right.

1310
01:20:20,990 --> 01:20:21,990
That's it.

1311
01:20:22,790 --> 01:20:23,810
That's my confession.

1312
01:20:28,650 --> 01:20:31,430
Are there enough Hail Marys in the world
to make up for this?